A Stiff Drink………and Chocolate

Navigating Daily Life, One Step at a Time…

Archive for the tag “Advice”

Rigidity…..Our Downfall.

I wrote this as a Facebook status today and I thought it ideal to also share here. In the light all that is going on, I thought it relevant.

What have I learned recently? That people who have rather strong (and extreme) opinions absolutely refuse to see the other side even when that side is presented rationally, respectfully and logically. They refuse to think that there might be another way, or that their opinion may not be factual or accurate to the situation. In the last 24 hours I have had my humanity insulted, been told to Eff off by someone who has formed an opinion of me solely based on my response to one post.

This is what I feel is currently wrong with our country. People refuse to educate themselves. They refuse to see past their own noses. They refuse to have polite, respectful DEBATE; to even consider something other then their own.

We don’t have to agree. I want you to debate with me. Make me think. Make me consider if what I feel, believe and opinionate on is accurate. I’m not going to follow blindly. I’m going to listen (so long as, again, you’re respectful and can give me valid, verifiable details) and I’m going to try to see your side. I might even be able to and STILL disagree. What’s great about that? Its how we move forward instead of remaining in the past.

But the minute you reduce your conversation to insults, expletives purely for the sake of said insults, I’m done. The minute I realize that no matter what data I give you, particularly when it is verifiable data, you are still going to hold fast to how I’m wrong and why you’re right. We’re done. At that point it becomes pointless because you refuse to change or be flexible.

We, as a society, have grown rigid and that can (and will) be exploited.

Advertisements

F&*K Cancer!

There was an interesting thing that happened to me today. I found out that our new HR person is dealing with a family member in the late stages of cancer. We talked a lot about it and I am glad that they entrusted me enough to confide in me that information.

I then came home to be informed that my uncle, who has been battling cancer himself, has been told today that all they can do now is make him as comfortable as possible. That’s it, so sorry, we are going to give up on you.

I’ve lot too many people to this disease, and all young, vibrant and happy people who didnt deserve it. No one deserves it. (Okay, well Hitler deserved it) But here I am watching my father deal with the knowledge that his youngest brother will likely pass before he does and that another member of my family will likely become another statistic.

All I can say is that I hope he, and everyone else dealing with this insidious disease, fights. Fight like hell. Fight like your life, and those of your family, depends on it because it does and there is SOOO much to live for. Attitude is that ultimate life saver and I can only hope that in spite of the news my uncle was provided today, he soldiers through it. I pray for that to whatever Powers That Be will listen.

Love is…

choosing to stay even when things aren’t ideal. In this day and age when kids are looking for instant gratification, when you can access anything online and the next best thing is just around the corner, it’s no wonder that the divorce rate in America is so high. Gone is the generation that knows, needs and understands you have to work at things. Those are the folks that find love and stay married for 20, 30, 40+ years. 

Why is that? What makes that love? Love isn’t a Disney movie, though there are things in Disney movies which are realistic and what one should work towards. (If you’re curious what I mean, just go to Pinterest!) Love isnt a fairy tale. Once the honeymoon is over and the chemicals are settled down, you have to decide every day is this where you want to be? Is this who you want to be with? Can you imagine living another day without that voice, that face, that smile, that being next to you? 

You may not like that person RIGHT NOW. You may wake up and something happens and you’re angry and upset with that person. But just because in this moment you are unhappy, either with them, or with yourself, that doesnt mean that the next moment things may change. 

Just because TODAY was tough doesnt mean that tomorrow will be. 

And that’s where I think that this generation coming up is missing the mark and doesnt understand what previous generations, the ones that made it 30+ years together, understands. If you wake up and EVERY DAY is miserable, then yes, get out. If the relationship is abusive then you had BETTER get out. But if its just today, then stick with it if you love this person. Life isn’t ideal, its not a fairy tale and that high you feel in the beginning wont always be. To believe that is to be unrealistic and to set yourself up for disaster. 

Love is perseverance, understanding, empathy, communication, patience, and most importantly….WORK. 

Post Navigation